Top 5 Most Overrated Actors

I realize this has nothing to do with sports, but I couldn’t think of anything in sports to write about. And it really irritates when someone says something like “Nick Cage is really good” or "I can't wait for that new Ben Affleck movie" (yes, I have heard both of these things said). So, this is my list of the top 5 most overrated actors. How does one qualify for this list? If I’m watching a movie and start to imagine how the movie would be better with someone else (Think about Johnny Depp or Ethan Hawke in The Devil’s Advocate), or if the star actor makes me not want to watch something despite the rest of the cast (How have I not seen Captain Corelli’s Mandolin? It has Penelope Cruz and Christian Bale), they are in the running. Basically these are people I wish would go away and stop ruining good movies/making bad movies so I don’t have to sit through 2 ½ hours of some boring Sci-fi movie because someone thinks the guy that wrote the book is God.

5. Julia Roberts

I had a high school science teacher that always made a point that actors get paid more than actresses, and there was only one actress who could demand $10 million for a movie, Julia Roberts. Well I kinda think there should be no women that make that much. I was watching Ocean’s 11 when she’s introduced as this amazingly hot woman in slow motion and I immediately thought of 5 women who would be better. Her cleavage was the first to win an Academy Award for acting, and I think there are some more deserving chests out there (Fabio’s chest can really make you think). Try and tell me she’s worth $10 million after watching Conspiracy Theory, Stepmom, Notting Hill, Runaway Bride, Closer, and Mona Lisa Smile.

4. Keanu Reeves

Keanu is good when he is in the right environment, namely movies that don’t require him to act. Bill & Ted, Point Break, Speed, The Replacements and The Matrix were all good because He doesn’t have to do too much. But then he goes and tries to sneak in to dramas, thinking if he’s surrounded by talent we won’t notice he suffers from voice immodulation. It’s like one of those SAT questions where you have to pick which word doesn’t fit in the group. Watch Dangerous Liasons, Dracula, Much Ado About Nothing, or The Devil’s Advocate and see if you can find the actor who doesn’t belong in the movie. The reason Keanu isn’t higher on the list is because everyone knows he can’t act, and is therefore not overrated. But he is the worst actor in acting and is still in movies, so the fact that he is rated makes him overrated.

3. John Travolta

Travolta had two good movies in the 70’s, Saturday Night Fever and Grease. Then he had a great comeback with Pulp Fiction. What happened in between? Did we forget the timeless Look Who’s Talking trilogy (yeah, they made three of those. The third one was about dogs)? And since Pulp Fiction he’s blessed us with such classics as Broken Arrow- where he is out-acted by Howie Long, Phenomenon, Michael, Face/Off (more on this later), A Civil Action, Battlefield Earth- the first clue America got that scientologists are psycho, Be Cool-the unnecessary sequel to Get Shorty, which was pretty good, and Hairspray-where he proves he can act poorly as both sexes. He wasn’t even very good in Pulp Fiction. He’s probably the tenth best thing in that movie, between the gimp and Tarantino.

2. Nicholas Cage

What pisses me off most about Nicholas Cage is he wanted to be the next James Bond, and got mad when he wasn’t picked, saying James Bond doesn’t have to be British. 1) Yes he does. 2) Maybe if you could do an accent it wouldn’t be a problem. 3) Aside from nationality let’s go over everything else a Bond needs which you don’t have.
Be an action star: Nick keeps trying but I don’t think it’s working. The Rock is good but overrated. Con Air is proof of my previous statement he can’t do accents (People from the South are from the South in every scene, Nick). Face/Off features two guys who can’t act acting like they’re the other one, and somehow managing to do a bad job, and I’m not even taking into account the plot hole that putting on someone else’s face doesn’t change bone structure or height. Gone in 60 Seconds is basically The Fast and the Furious, and I think that has a better Bond in it (Vin Diesel). National Treasure: Hey, we didn’t get the rights to the Da Vinci Code, so let’s just do the same thing only in America (Ok, the movie was fun but I didn’t need to see it again). Ghost Rider: I was bored enough to watch this the other week. I also watched Stomp the Yard. Ghost Rider wins, but only because Eva Mendes is fiyiyine!
Be a good actor: Though not necessarily a requirement for Bond, it helps. If I stringed together clips from every movie Cage has done, it would be impossible to tell which movie the stuttering unsure scene comes from and where the wide eyed maniacal laugh is from. When you’re the same character in every movie that means you’re not good at acting (see how to play an arrogant but lovable role, regardless of the character’s job or movie tone by Tom Cruise).

1.Ben Affleck

Ben Affleck is what is known as a bankable star. That means if he attaches himself to a movie it automatically gets greenlit, or will be made. How did this happen? Let’s look at every movie in which Ben is the main character:
Armageddon (not great, but people like special effects. I don’t know how he gets credit for that), Reindeer Games, Pearl Harbor (Wow, you think you can make another Armageddon only not as good? I don’t believe you, Ben), The Sum of All Fears (Surely this can’t misfire. It worked with Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford (twice). Even Affleck can make money with this, right?), Daredevil (…this one left me speechless), Gigli (Ben: I’m still bankable? What more can I do?), Paycheck (This movie plus The Bourne Identity proves Matt Damon had all the talent in that marriage), Jersey Girl (This is getting ridiculous. It’s like a list of the biggest flops of the past decade), Surviving Christmas, Hollywoodland.
I don’t understand how Ben Affleck is still allowed in the state of California. The crap he makes is the reason There Will Be Blood isn’t showing at the Theater near my house.

Honorable Mention: Kevin Costner

Everyone knows Kevin Costner has spent the past decade making horrible movies (Waterworld, The Postman, The Guardian), so he couldn’t be on the list. But looking back on the movies that made him big I think people fail to realize that he was never a good actor. Take Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. I love that movie, but Robin Hood really should have a British accent. And emotion. Looking back it’s clear the supporting actors (Morgan Freeman, Alan Rickman) were better than the lead, and that doesn’t say a lot about the lead actor. Dances with Wolves, another great movie. But do you really have to use the some-guy-doesn’t-understand-a-monocle-makes-things-look-closer-than-they-are gag you used in Robin Hood? Costner is the first example in this list of actors in good movies being mistaken for good actors. Oh, and even though this one’s obvious, why make Wyatt Earp when it was already made an hour shorter with better acting…when it was called Tombstone.

Honorable Mention: Jimmy Fallon

I couldn’t put Jimmy Fallon on the list because he hasn’t made enough movies. But he has won the award for person I most want to punch in the face for four consecutive years, so he’s worth mentioning. A couple of notes:
Not being able to say your lines without laughing every skit is not funny.
Doing an impression of someone who is funnier than your impression is not funny.
Liking the Yankees because Lorne Michaels got you free tickets, then deciding the Red Sox are pretty cool and making a movie about them losing the World Series, then changing the ending when they actually win makes you the Count of Douchebaggery. I don’t know a lot about baseball but you can’t switch from a Yankees fan to a Red Sox fan (Steven Atwell!).